Morning. Completely sleepless she lays. Her duties flow underneath her eyelids but the energy is not there. Decades pass through the ticking clock and the silence tortures her enough to rise. She can’t remember a day when the prospect of rising was less appealing then just lying there but the silence never heeds to whisper in her ear. It surrounds her mind, her body, her spirit. Its judgment forces its way into her world.
Duties. Clamoring about her home keeps her busy. The knowledge of praise and acknowledgment from those around guides her hands. And yet in those few seconds from changing tasks she is reminded of the shameful memories from silence
Seduction. She now seeks stronger entertainment. All the praise in the world would never be enough to convince her of her importance, so she turns to love, the emotion that brought her tormentor but now protects her sanity. His skin is what urges her that she matters. He guards her warmth in his arms as she completely gives it to him. She no longer needs to occupy her mind because his mouth drinks up her thoughts. In his cocoon of love, she rejoices in the small light of a new beginning.
Fear. The sheets of another conquest reminds her. His arms no longer shield her but instead slam the gavel for her fate. His whispers of love cannot enter her heart. She is retreating, hating her lover for the uselessness of his company. She patiently awaits the wave of added silence to her conscience. She rises when the torture once again becomes too much. A collection of her belongings lay rejected on the floor, unappealing even to her own eyes, just another reminder of another night with another temporary man. No matter how much she scrubs she cannot cleanse herself of the regret and anguish growing stronger inside her womb. Where it is nurtured everyday by her memories and where her reassuring thoughts have no value. No way of erasing what the first had done to her. She sits, contemplating when she will find the right soul that can fix her and give her the voice she needed the first time.